Frequently Asked Questions
Why adoption?
After our third child, Justice, was born, in October 2005, we thought we were pretty much “done” with having kids. However, since Justice’s birth, Heidi could not shake a peculiar feeling of incompletion. Not having any desire to be pregnant ever again (!), it was very frustrating to not be able to eliminate that feeling. International adoption has always been an idea that has been tossed around in our house (and in Heidi’s mind since she was a teenager), so after we randomly happened upon our friends’ web site on adoption, God began to do His work. Over the course of a week, Kirk and I went from having no plans for more children, to deciding that international adoption is in our immediate future. We simply thought, with all of the children needing families, Why not us?
Why international adoption when there are so many children in our own country who need a good home?
Just as in anything in life, God places unique desires and callings in His servants. While we are certainly open to whatever God has called us to, God has given us a particular burden for the children in Africa. We are thankful that God calls us all to different tasks and ministries so that we can, as the Body of Christ, be an effective force for His kingdom. We don’t believe it is our place to judge the callings and burdens He has placed on others. What we DO know is that God has called us ALL to take care of the poor and the orphaned, so for us it is an act of obedience to Him whether we adopt domestically or internationally. Finally, we echo Angelina Jolie’s sentiment when she was asked this very same question. Jolie responded simply, ““Well, I don’t see borders in the world.” We don’t believe that American children are more deserving of a family simply because they are American. We believe that all children in all countries are deserving simply because they are created by God.
Why Africa?
Africa has always been a huge burden on my (Heidi’s) heart. When I was 17 years old, I spent a month in Kenya working with street boys. That changed my life forever and I knew even then that Africa had a place in my future. On a side note, Kirk lived for a short time in Liberia, West Africa, when he was a toddler, so there was yet another connection. Finally, we feel passionately about helping the orphans in Africa, an amazingly beautiful continent that has experienced crises and curses beyond their portion. Whatever small part we can do to bring a life of hope to an otherwise seemingly hopeless existence, we will do.
Why Ethiopia?
At the time, Ethiopia and Kenya are the only two African countries open to international adoption by U.S. citizens which do not also have residency requirements. You are able to adopt from other African countries, but the adoptions are independent adoptions and not through accredited agencies here in the States. As an added bonus, Ethiopia adoptions are fairly quick and efficient and lower in cost when compared to adoptions from East Asia and Russia. Finally, Ethiopia is an extremely poverty-stricken and disease-ridden country, factors which have contributed to an orphan population of 4.5 million in this country of 65 million. The number of orphans there boggles our minds. If we can make even a miniscule dent, we will do that.
What is the age/gender of the child you have requested?
While we originally requested a baby boy and a baby girl, God has really moved our hearts to desire adopting an older sibling set. From early on we felt drawn to the older children, since they are true orphans and desperately need families. That desire was confirmed when Heidi and Brandon went to Ethiopia in June on a mission trip and fell in love with all of the older children there. There are just SO MANY older children and sibling sets who are orphaned in the true sense of the word and need homes! While adopting older children comes with a different set of issues than adopting infants, we believe that whatever God has designed for our family will be a blessing and not a burden. Of all of the callings God gives us grace for, caring for orphans is up there at the top! Finally, we don’t believe in penalizing older children who desperately desire a family just because we don’t want to deal with possible problems. We would encourage anyone who is feeling the call to adopt to open your heart to older children and just at least ask God if that is His plan for you. You will be blessed.
Are you concerned about a transracial adoption?
Bringing a child of a completely different race into our “white” family has never been a reason for us to consider not adopting from Africa. However, that being said, while we do believe that the love of a family is more important than color, we are not ignorant of the reality we live in, especially here in middle Tennessee. In fact, living in the South makes us all the more aware of racial realities. We have a particular awareness of the fact that, because our first three children are blonde and fair-skinned, our new family members will no doubt be quite aware of their differences. We all (including our children now) have a keen interest in other cultures, so we will incorporate our children’s heritage into our family and home as much as possible. We will not pretend that our African children are white. We will celebrate the diversity of us all.
Are you concerned about loving your adopted children the same as your biological children?
This is always a slight and initial concern in the mind of anyone who is choosing to adopt who already has biological children. From the testimony of others we have heard from, you end up loving your adopted children to the same degree as your biological children. (This is amazing to us!) When we first decided to adopt, I (Heidi) went to bed one night begging God to give me a strong sense of peace about this and to settle this love in my mind from the start. While I was sleeping, I dreamed about our new babies and woke up literally crying with an intense yearning to hold them! In the same way that a pregnant woman longs to cradle her child, we long to hold ours! Having had biological children already, we can already tell you that the love is the same. This is testimony to me to the fact that adoption is designed by God and brings glory to Him.
What agency are you using?
Originally, we were adopting through America World Adoption Association. While they are certainly a wonderful and reputable agency, our situation changed when we found our three children (the ones we met in Ethiopia in June on a mission trip and have been fighting for all summer!) on another agency's waiting older child list. We immediately switched to Christian World Adoption, an agency we VERY highly recommend. We have had nothing but an amazing process with them. The staff persons are so helpful and encouraging. They are very supportive of our process and of the adoption of older children, something that is very important to us since we are taking this leap! Feel free to email us for more information or recommendations on them. We would be happy to share more of our experience with you.
How much will it cost?
We have found this to be a surprising and funny question. We are not particularly comfortable disclosing dollar amounts for our adoption, though the information is certainly available for those wishing to fish it out. As parents we feel that answering this point-blank question puts a price tag on our adopted children and we do not want others (or us!) to ever associate our children with a dollar amount. We are not offended by the question; we are just not comfortable always answering it!
That being said, there are many people who are coming alongside us to help as we raise the needed funds. For those who are joining us in the journey, we have no problem sharing figures with you!
We will say that international adoption is very costly. Frankly, this is not a factor in determining whether or not we are to adopt. We firmly believe that God provides in full for whatever He has called His people to do. We are a typical middle-class family, so we obviously do not have tens of thousands of dollars lying around looking for a “good cause” to be spent on. In fact, were the adoption to cost us even just a small amount, we would be trusting God for that, too. Every penny of this adoption is coming from Him. That makes this all the more exciting!
How will you raise the funds necessary for adoption?
We are not concerned by the need for funds. We know that God is providing and will continue to do so. Check out the link to the left “How You Can Help” to see ways in which we are raising funds. We are pinching pennies at every turn and trying to be as creative as possible, so if you have any fundraising ideas, please send them our way! We are actively believing that God is going to provide for this adoption without us having to incur any debt along the way. Our God is a faithful, all-the-way, and on-time God! We believe that the Lord will provide us with the exact funds precisely when they are needed.
Will your adopted child(ren) be healthy?
Babies in Ethiopian orphanages are tested immediately for AIDS and other diseases such as Hepatitis and TB. [Children that test positive for AIDS are placed in an AIDS-specific orphanage (though there are certainly not enough facilities for them all). They typically spend the rest of their days there, though many of these children are available for adoption through other avenues.] Bloodwork on the children is repeated a few months later to verify the results. When we are given a referral for our children, we will also receive a known medical history and related information. Sometimes an illness or condition is not discovered until the child is home in the States, but we are not concerned about this. Should our child(ren) have a medical issue, we will seek the appropriate medical care. Most medical issues that arise are easily treatable stateside. Also, we are given the freedom to turn down a referral if we choose. We personally don’t anticipate doing so, but that is an option given to prospective adoptive parents.
Have your extended family and friends been supportive?
In short, yes. However, we do know that adding any child to a family is somewhat of an adjustment for everyone. While adoption has been brewing in our hearts for a long time, this was sprung upon the hearts of our relatives, so we don’t expect everyone to jump for joy at the same time. However, both Kirk and Heidi have extremely godly and very loving extended families, so we know that these children will be welcomed with open arms and loved no differently than the other grandchildren. We are excited to see God move within the hearts of our family members and would be so thrilled if others were to adopt as well! In fact, Heidi’s mom said she would be thrilled to have a “little United Nations of grandkids.”
Our friends have been extremely supportive from the get-go and are helping us as we pray for and provide for our children’s way home! We are blessed beyond measure by our friends and the ways that God is raising them up to be used in the process.
What do your other kids think about it all?
Our other three children could not be more excited. In fact, Brandon (our oldest) has been encouraging the idea for awhile now. We have witnessed such a pureness in our children’s hearts since the beginning of the process. They can’t wait to meet their new siblings. Isabella is especially excited about having a sister or two! Our kids talk about their new siblings as if they were already here. They are certainly in their hearts already.
What is the process like and how long does it take?
For more information, please see our blog. Also, check out the Timeline page to find more detailed information on what is involved in the paperchase to our children.